20

Damage I used to pretend that his hits didn’t bother me, it was all out of love and like the love struck dummy I was , I believed him. When I first started dating Jayceon I never knew his temper would lead to him putting his hands on me. He was a star basketball player and had a bright future ahead of him…..till he tore his ACL. Now it seems that everything bothers him and I was okay with him dealing out his feelings; till he took them out on me now I take salt baths four times a week to help with the soreness. Seven years and two kids later I still find myself kneeling on this mat praying that thing will get better. When my eyes first met Jayceon I was instantly love struck. He was tall beautiful copper tone skin complexion, with green-blue hazel colored eyes; standing 6’4 with a smile that made my heart sing. He was deemed off limits by my brother Malcolm. He refused to let his baby sister date his best friend. So for the time being I admire him from a far hoping one day I would become everything he was to me. I tried everything in the book for him to know me as Artesia not “Malc’s baby sis.” That named always left me fuming with fury. I decided to observe the girls he was interested in . They all look the same to me, big boobs, slim waist and , a big butt. Which was everything I didn’t have. I was okay to me. I had long black hair that just started to reach my back, some boobs coming in ( I hope) and a bit of a butt, but nothing seemed to catch his attention. So I slipped away into the shadow with the rest of the unnoticed freshmen’s. Until my junior year that is. The summer before my junior year I noticed some recent developments. My breast seem to stick out more the usual , my waist receded in and my butt stuck out way; way out! My caramel complexion was not harmed by the sun’s harsh rays and my acne had finally seceded. During my entire transformation Jayceon was no where around to watch me unravel. Malcolm told me that he went to Hawaii ,as he broke out in laughter “he went to complete his coast to coast sex fest” I glared at him. “ I kid I kid! He went to Detroit to visit his grandmother and aunties. He should be back before school.” I grinned at the thought of his warm smile and gorgeous face. “Happy Cruella Deville !” I gazed at my black and white attire before slamming my door. “ Nothing you do or say can ruin this for me Malc! Nothing!” I yelled backed over his obnoxious laughter. I went to sleep with pleasant thoughts about the upcoming school year. As I drifted to sleep I heard voice coming from outside my bedroom window. I sprang on my feet hoping the voice belonged to you know who. To my surprise it did. Outside my bedroom window was Jayceon leaded up against his IS 250 Lexus talking to Malcolm. I shot up and out my door but was stopped by my mother “if your going outside to say hi to Jayceon ,tell your brother to bring his tail inside and start on these dishes! Now!” I smiled at her request “ Yes ma’am!” My paced slowed as I approached the door. I crept outside to meet Jayce stunned eyes and Malcolm’s angry own. “ Malc mom says dishes! Now ! And hurry!” I said trying to hide my smile. Malcolm scalded at me “ ‘iight man see you at the park” Malc said his goodbyes before retreating to the house and flashing me a dirty look. I began to follow till Jayceon called me back “ hold on there miss Artesia” I was shocked that he even knew my name “ how you ‘gunna come outside look at me knowing that you haven’t seen me all summer and not give me no hug , not even a hello glad your alive!” I smiled and put my seductive walk into play as I strolled on over to him. He quickly pulled me into his arms and held me close. He smelled incredible! Like some sort of Axe or Old Spice whatever it was it smelled great. He released me from his grasp and licked his lips before speaking to me “So what’s going on wit’ cha ? You look real good girl” he eyed may body up and down before licking his lips again. “You look good too Jayceon! How was your tri- he cut me off “ ‘ Naw babe call me Jayce, being my baby you get to call me that now” I smiled and cocked one brow “ Hold the phone! When did I become your girl?” he smiled his oh so perfect heart melting smile and pulled me close holding me by my waist “ since you walked through that door” before I could register my thoughts he placed his lips on mine parting them with his tongue. My knees felt weak at the touch of his lips and gave out on me but, he held me up in his arms. Then pulling back “ill be over to see you early tomorrow.” He kissed me again before stepping in to his car and reversing across the street to his house. “Goodnight babe” I stood there stunned not realizing what had just taken place. I wonder if everything during summer would happen this fast. I didn’t think on it to much because I was exhausted for to nights event and decided to go to sleep without speaking a word . The next morning Jayce did come by and hung out with me while Malc was at work, he told he about his trip and about his love for basketball the part of his family that he only knew and I shared with him the same. Then we discussed what our type was and our likes and dislikes in the opposite sex. And I told him that I was a virgin and he accepted it very well and confided in me about his past and the number of girls he slept with. When the number ten reared it ugly little head in I kind of jumped back at the thought of him laying down with ten girls but, his eyes were warm gentle and kind so it really didn’t matter to me. He was perfect in my eyes and I was perfect in his. After about two months of dating Jayceon became close as ever and I let him come over frequently when my parents and Malcolm were out. However one night was different from the others. The night I knew he would be mine forever. Jayce came over at about six and we went to my room as usual and watched old DVD’s. I glanced over at Jayceon to find him staring at me intensively. His eyes were now a hazel kind of blue that made my blood boil and my heart sink like the titanic. He brought his self close to me and stared deeply into my eyes “Art do you trust me?” I smiled and replied yes kissing his cheek. He remained serious without a smile to spare “ do y-you love me?” I began to sit up. His word ran shivers through my spine causing goose bumps all over my arm and thighs. “ Yes….more than anything” a smile finally broke through followed by a kiss to the frontal lobe. He brought me over to my bed and laid me down kissing me from my neck to my waist. He took off his shirt and threw it on the floor. I thousand thoughts raced through my mind. I didn’t know what to do. I think he sensed the distress on my face and kissed my forehead again and whispered “I love you…just trust me.” The events that followed made me officially his. In my eyes everything was perfect and could only get better. Right? Weeks later I followed Jayce to the park to watch him play ball with my brother and a few other local kids around our area. I took a seat next to the other ball players girlfriends including my brothers own. I watched the game for about 20mins. My baby had game! The others on the court could barely keep up with his moves and he was barley moving. I cheered him from the sideline watching his every move. Sometimes he was serious with his head deep in the game ,and sometimes he was goofing off kissing me on the side line while shooting the ball with his back turned. His game drove the girls and the guys crazy! Then disaster hit Jayce ran the ball down the court and went up for a lay up when he came down hard hearing the “crack” I knew nothing good could come from that sound. After he went to the hospital the doctor said he tore his ACL and would be out for the rest of the season. This burnt me hard and crushed Jayceon’s dream of getting recruited. I promised that I would be there every step of the way helping him get back on his feet. After the first month Jayceon’s temper went from bad to worst. My mother said it was best just to stand by his side and let him work through it unless he takes it too far. I just wonder how far is too far ? Around the fifth month and my senior year Jayce and Malc graduated. The week after we moved in together and Jayce proposed. I t was one of the best days of my life. My life was too perfect and nothing could spoil it. One night I came home from work to find Jayceon waiting for me at the door I leaned in to give him a huge but he pulled back “Where the hell you been at bitch?” I was startled by his words but almost use to it by now. Whenever he felt a pain in his leg his blood boiled and he took it out on me. “ Don’t speak to me like that or I’m going home!” I tried to make my voice sound firm usually if it was firm enough he wouldn’t hit me. I hoped he didn’t it would be impossible to explain another bruise to my mother and brother. “Home? You live here! And I said you aint leaving!” I turned my back a try to run but he caught me by my hair and slammed me to the ground . I yelled out in pain and he struck me in ma face and chest. I screamed and yelled begging him to stop but it only made him inflict pain on me harder. “know what I’ma teach you a lesson” tears began to pore down my face as he unzipped his pants, I struggled intensively to brake free of his grip but he was too strong. He climbed on top of me a began to thrust himself in me over and over a again holding me by my neck not stopping till his pleasures was fulfilled and finally letting me go with a blow to the face leaving me in a pool of blood. “See! You make me do this ! I just love you so much Art! don’t you see that?” I was too dazed to respond “Say you love me too!” he picked me up from off the floor by my hair while my feet dangled the terror in his eyes held me from speaking. “I love you too” I sobbed “You do baby ? Good!” he dropped me to the floor a sat back in his chair and watched ESPN. I lay there hopeless not knowing what was next….